Welcome to No-Fault Communication™
Get Gotten! Our Philosophy can be summed in this two word phrase. Our main view of all communication, no matter where the venue: business, familial, interpersonal, political, and even spiritual or intrapersonal, once truth can be faced with dignity and an attitude of discovery, CHANGE OCCURS NATURALLY!
In every communication there are four main elements operating:
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A man whose beliefs have completely engulfed him. His perceptions become stale because he is trapped in his context.
The data that the person needs to communicate.
- The person’s emotion about the object or experience. The intensity of emotion determines the level of importance that an item will have.
- The relationship dynamics between the listener and the speaker.
- The underlying message not directly said by the speaker but reflecting some deeper, probably older context that shape the beliefs and style of the communication or the communicator themselves.
What do we mean by “No-Fault Communication”?
On one level, it means to listen without blame or interpretation. On a second, it is to hear the intent behind the statement, demand or query and solve for X: the possible hidden intent nestled either unsaid by, or even unconscious to, the speaker. Where X is the unstated or behind-the-scenes memories or beliefs that cause us to view a situation a certain way. We use the concept of No-Fault, like that in the auto insurance industry to make it clear that each of us is fully responsible for whatever “damage” we might incur in an accident. But also, that accountability to a process is not about guilt but resolution and completion; but also possibly forgiveness and renewal. To read more about No-Fault Communication, click here to download the NFC Primer
What do you mean emphasis is on understanding, not blame?
Often, when we have differing views with another person, it is all too easy to believe that the other person is against you rather than simply disagreeing with your position. The result is an adversarial relationship which impedes people from getting what they want and being heard for their good intentions.
Comparison of Mirroring vs. Active Listening
Some folks know something called Active Listening. Let me make an analogy. Active Listening is to Mirroring as flying a paper airplane is to piloting a real airplane! Like with a paper airplane, the flyer folds the words any which way and aims them at the speaker. If the active-listener is anywhere close to the person they were aiming at, their is self-congratulatory feeling of success . Whether or not they care if the original speaker thought the listening was good or accurate is another story. But with No-Fault Communication ‘s Mirroring Techniques takes attention to detail and the ability to decipher a person’s meaning with surgical precision. Just as if you were reading the instruments in the cockpit and dismantling the communication into its component parts. When you as listener relay back to the speaker, you must be precise in the feedback! Otherwise, you are off course! You have imposed your meaning on them! If the plane (communication) goes awry it is generally caused by pilot error! As listener, you are the pilot of communication!
Come fly into meta space with us!
What you will learn in these Seminars?
- No-Fault Level 1 – Getting Gotten – In this first stage exposure, you will shown the primary tools and assumptions that are at the heart of all NFC wok. You will learn to experience what it is to “get gotten” and to witness that in another person. The tool that facilitates this is
- No-Fault Level 2 – ” I “, “We” and “Us” – Overgeneralization can and does make communications awkward! Why? Because when we start speaking of someone else’s experience instead of own. In this course, we concentrate on how to listen to yourself when speaking to another and then follow the differences that occur in that communication.
- No-Fault Level 3 – Recongizing Subtle/Energy Communications – Here we concentrate on how to recognize the “Juice” in high stake and high intensity situations. We practice rigorous mirroring and Meta mirroring for hidden pockets of meaning. Further explanation and demonstration of NFC principles is explored and anchored.
- No-Fault Level 4 – Concentrating on Metaness – After 3 powerful sessions of skills, you are invited to elevate your being and your potency to be present and clear during intense emotions: your own and that of the other person. As you can master that skill, your experience of remaining centered in the face of difficulty expands and your ability to communicate effectively.
In each of the No-Fault Communication day-long events, you get practice at two of the key skills that make When to ask questions and when to make statements as to maximize your effectiveness.
